Am I the only person that before I get a pet of any sort, I look up every possible thing I can find about the animal?
I look up general facts, illness, nutrition, treatments. I look up literally everything I could possibly need to know in an attempt to make sure that I know everything in attempt to make sure I take good care of the creature.
I’m not sure why I do so much research, most of it is my worry. I want to make sure that there are no surprises and I want to make sure that I am capable of looking up the symptoms and knowing what I need to do.
I don’t like having surprises in my life. I never have. Surprises scare me, there is the unknown of my life I fear and that I won’t have what is necessary when the mistakes come in.
So I look up everything I need to know about animals to make sure that I don’t have any surprises. I can tell you every single illness a Black Moor Goldfish can have and how to treat it. I can tell you everything the little guy can eat. I can tell you the necessary temperature of the tank and what other fish can be put with the little guy and have no problems.
I can tell you the tricks and requirements to take care of Rough Collies, the dog breed that Lassie is, and how much they are supposed to weigh.
So as a Junior in high school, I think about the kind of jobs that I want in the future and I realize that I could never become a veterinarian or work with customer service. There are too many surprises and I would constantly feel out of control.
That’s why I like writing, that’s why I like research.
Under the tip of my fingers, I can control an entire world. They can do whatever I want them to do or make them stop whatever it is that I want.
I can use research and know facts. Know science.
That’s why I am not religious, why I have no religious bone in my body. I have to rely on my belief and feelings and I don’t have cold hard facts to prove to me that any of that is true.
So yeah, I rely on facts and science and writing. I realize that those things make no sense but it’s true. Science and facts are how I cope with situations. Writing is how I deal with getting back the control in my life.
I think that’s why relationships are so hard for me, there is the guy in the relationship. I don’t know what they are thinking or how they are feeling. That I might feel like everything is dandy and they might think our relationship is doomed.
So tell me fellow members of the club that hates surprises.
How do you handle relationships? Is there anything I can do?
Can’t wait to hear what you think,