You know what sucks about having a crush?
- That moment when you see their name pop up in your news feed and your heart starts beating really fast and it is like your entire head is clouding up as positive thoughts are screaming through out your head.
- It’s that moment that you’re flirting but you absolutely can not tell if they are flirting back or just replying and you wonder if you weren’t being obvious enough if they were being oblivious.
- When you really, really want to talk to them because before you realized you liked them, you had no problem annoying the living hell out of them but now that these feelings have creeped in on you, you are crippled with doubt.
Will he hate me if I do this?
Am I being too annoying?
- Or maybe it is that moment when you do realize, when you see from across the hallway and it feels like your heart has completely stopped before beating like a maniac, when all the sounds around you are gone as you look into face and you’re just like, “Oh shit.”
- But honestly, the worst thing about having feelings for a guy, whether they have been your friend for 2 years or 5 months or even 2 weeks, however long it has been is that doubt. You guys were probably amazing before that “oh shit” moment and now everything that you are doing and everything he is doing, you are questioning.
Did he do this because he likes me?
Oh no, he said this because he hates me.
- Then there are these radio silence days where for whatever reason, you guys don’t talk. Mostly because you don’t message him, mostly because he didn’t message you and then you’re just worried.
Of course, I have this entire issue when it comes to stuff like this. I want the guy to be so happy like it physically pains me at the concept of him being unhappy. So I am there, rooting for his happiness and having to accept the fact that even though he is not happy with me, everything is going to be okay because at least he’s happy. Right?
- But damn is it painful to see him happy without me…
- Your perception changes.. Like there will be a thing that I absolutely hate and it will annoy me to no end but the second that I realize I like him. It’s like I am making excuses for the guy.
Oh, he’s putting me in circles? That’s okay because I’m sure he doesn’t even realize he is doing it.
- The fear of rejection. All throughout middle school, high school, and even going on into adulthood, you have this ridiculous fear of rejection. Where it practically paralyzes you from telling your crush that you like him. You over think, you rationalize in a split second all the reasons why he doesn’t like you, or your brain completely ignores all possible good scenarios and just focuses on the bad.
Throughout my entire life, I would have feelings for this guy and never once have the guts to say one word to him about him. I might be so obvious that I am practically writing it on my forehead but I couldn’t bring myself to actually say the words. Fear would just… stop me.
- The friend zone. Can I just say right now that I could have probably lived without Friends if it meant that this blasted word never existed? Because it’s true, Friends was the reason that term existed all because of Ross and Rachel (And I definitely could have lived without their relationship.) But even so, there probably would have just been a new word created for it.Because the friend zone, in all it’s evil glory is unfortunately a real thing.
“Sorry, I only see you as a friend.”
“I just think of you as a friend.”
“You’re just too good of a friend.”
“I wouldn’t want to loose you as a friend.”
If any of that has even been said to you then I assure you, you have been friend zoned and honestly, that is the worst thing about “befriending” the person you like. WHAT THE HELL ARE THE BOUNDARIES BETWEEN FRIENDS AND MORE THAN FRIENDS?
Is it okay to flirt?
Can I compliment him?
Do I call him a friend?
If he calls me a friend, does that mean he doesn’t like me?
Honestly, there might be a few good things about liking a guy but mostly, it is just a headache and stressful. There are so many thoughts and curiosities and ramblings and inner head monologues that we all could have been considered certifiably insane.