Through the dating process, you find out fast about things that you absolutely hate. Turn offs, we all have them so here is the list of some of the things that would compromise of my perfect guy.
Now even though this list does exist, most of this stuff is not an end all or be all and they definitely do not have to possess everything on this list because let’s face it, perfection is overrated anyways.
Number One : No Smoking!
Honestly, walking into all this relationship mumbo jumbo, I never thought no smoking would be on my list of turn offs.
My mom smokes and so does most of my entire family and it’s not like I am completely innocent in all of this (though, I do not smoke.)
But then I met this guy who smoked about a pack a day (EW!) and I don’t think I have ever lost interest so fast in a guy.
His clothes smelled, his teeth were gross, and I just found the entire thing unattractive and unappealing.
Number Two : An Animal Lover
Now this, this is so broad that it isn’t even funny but I never thought this would bother me as much as it does.
I mean, yeah, I love animals but I never thought dating a guy that didn’t would bother me until it happened.
So this guy was allergic to dogs and that was fine, it didn’t bother me and I didn’t care but there were two dates that caused me to realize how much I hated it. Plus I didn’t realize that not only was he allergic but he also hated them.
So we went to this science museum because he loves science and outside there was this animal area that was like a zoo that I was incredibly excited about because there were llamas.
So we did all the science stuff which was interesting but just not something that I was into, or something that I was truly excited about. Then we went outside and we saw all these animals, kangaroos and chickens and flamingos.
But for how happy I was with these animals, how at home I felt, I knew that he didn’t enjoy it remotely and it was a barrier between us that he wouldn’t ever cross.
Then on another date, he took me to this cow place in our hometown. There was a huge walking thing that was about a mile long and also one of the only places that you could bring your dog out in public… If you count a cow farm with a walking trail public anyways but I do because that’s how our town is.
I loved the cows, I loved that so many of them followed us around as we walked and I loved that I kept running into dogs, I even ran into a Siberian Husky which is my favorite breed of dogs.
But once again, we were distant and neither of us were enjoying anything, maybe separately but not together and that was honestly one of our biggest problems… At least for me.
Number Three : A Fan of Harry Potter
I am a fan of Harry Potter.
I bought Cursed Child the day after it came out, I saw Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows Part One at a Drive- In movie theater premiere, I went to the midnight premiere for Deathly Hallows Part Two at a theater where there was a party going on including playing Quidditch and Cosplay contests.
Last year, I attended the Yule Ball for the first time in my life at Geeksboro Coffee House (and I am even going to this years!) and I also am going to the midnight premiere of Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them.
Due to this… mild obsession, having somebody that is a huge Harry Potter fan as well would mean the most to me. I would be able to talk to them about everything I learn or everything that bothers me.
He would understand my rants about why Dumbledore was an evil mastermind, why Harry Potter was by far the worst character, why Draco Malfoy was good, why James Potter was a mere bully, why I think Snape is an amazing character but a terrible teacher.
I like the idea of having somebody in life who has the same interest in me.
Number Four : Someone Who is Passionate
Passion is one of the most attractive features from any guy. I am going to be ten times more attracted to somebody who knows exactly what they want when they want it.
It’s probably mostly because I have my entire life goals figured out myself, honestly. Or at least I know what I want to major in, what I want to minor in, what school I want to go to, and what profession that I would like to go into afterwards.
So somebody being as knowledgeable about their future as I am or at least how I pretend to be, I think is attractive. It’s not just knowing what they want to do in the future, there is so much more to this as well.
Someone who is passionate also have these topics that you just they care about by how they speak. Their voice isn’t monotone, they are suddenly energized and almost have a dazed effect on their voices. This is the topic that they know everything about and will instantly get into a fight if they disagree with you.
(Like how much of this election was… Wait, was that too soon?)
There is just something about having these things that they care about that means soo much to me and is so attractive.
Number Five : A Coffee Drinker.
This is not even close to being a requirement but I am a huge coffee drinker and I love trying new coffee.
I love the idea of every week or whatever going to a new coffee place and just trying their coffee and it would be really nice if I could do that with somebody.
It would be like sharing something I love with someone I love and I think that is a cute concept.
Number Six : Somebody I Actually Agree With.
With all of this election stuff going on, which I do realize only happens once every four years, I have come to decide that I want to be with a guy that I genuinely agree with.
Whether it is politics, relationship issues and how to handle them, or just in general something else, it is nice to have somebody you agree with.
If you don’t, there is a big chance that every election the house becomes divided as you throw snide remarks toward your partners way as you internally insult everything he stands for (which may have happened in a past relationship… Oops?)
Number Six : Doesn’t Talk About His Ex
This has actually come up on a few different occasions and while I do understand that knowing some things about a past relationship is important, I don’t want a guy who will CONSTANTLY talk about his ex- girlfriend. Regardless of whether it is out of hate..
So the first time this every came up, it was out of love. Even though it had been more than a year since he had been with this girl, he brought her up.
“You know, the way I love you isn’t the same as the way I loved her.”
“You know, I actually really liked her smell… It was my favorite.”
That smell… Well it was literally the smell of something that I was allergic too, like I would never be good enough for him because I simply wasn’t her.
But I was young and naive, honestly I thought I was in love with this guy. He had been my best friend for years and I had liked him for basically ALL of this time…
In fact, I met him when he was still dating this girl.
Of course, our relationship ended and I was heartbroken… I think my break up with him honestly took me the hardest and I go back to this relationship a lot when I think of comparisons between my relationship then and now.
Whether it is to avoid the aspect of him still being in love with an ex or the fact that when I thought of love, I used to look to him as an example.. But that love, it was flawed because how can you really be loved if he loves another girl?
Regardless to say, we probably should have stayed as friends but hey, it was an experience.
The second time I ran into this problem was actually REALLY recently and one day, I should definitely tell you the story about our first date.. Oddly enough, it’s not the reason as to why there wasn’t a second one.
But a few months ago, he had gotten out of a relationship that ended badly which I can understand if you don’t forgive the person or even if you don’t want anything to do with them. I don’t want you to forgive them but I also don’t want you to dream of getting your revenge by using me…
Healthy talk about an ex is great but constantly talking about them, good or bad, is not good.
Number Seven : Somebody in the Same Place as Me
It seems like every time I find a guy, I am in a completely different place than them. Either I know exactly what I want and when I want it and they don’t or I am starting to feel lost and confused and they have figured everything out.
So honestly, this is probably something everybody wants and it’s a sane wish but I want somebody who is expecting the same things in life, who knows what they want, who doesn’t expect me to be completely positive.
I am a teenager, I am not ready for marriage or even the prospect of children. I’m just not. I turn 17 in 3 weeks exactly, I am just now officially convinced about what I am doing for college more or less after.
So yeah, a guy who doesn’t expect me to marry him in a year or two. A guy who just wants to live in the now, I am sick of being in relationships that are thinking of the future.
I don’t see a point of being in a relationship unless I see myself marrying them and I have genuine interest in them. But I also don’t want to be planning my wedding with them.
Relationships are complicated and honestly, with each relationship, you can figure things out more clearly every time. These ridiculous relationships and experiences… They are slowly taking me to wherever I am meant to be and while I don’t know what it is, I know that it’s gonna be amazing.
Because while I have done some weird experiences, while I have been through some unconventional stuff, a lot of it has been amazing and to find the person that all of this was for, I think will be even more amazing.
I have had moments of wanting to give up on relationships in total, there have been cheaters and heartbreaks and so many more things but it’s always that though… The thought that this is all for one person even if this person isn’t who it is for.
But honestly guys, if there was one thing I want for sure…
It is somebody who loves me, somebody I can talk to, somebody I can understand, just somebody who is willing it live a life with me…