This is probably the millionth version of the same letter, a letter that I desperately wanted to write and post today and weirdly enough, it has been the hardest thing for me to ever write. Mostly because our relationship has lasted for 17 years and hopefully a million more to go.
You know what our relationship has consisted of more than anyone besides myself, you were the one cheering for me in the stands when I was throwing around Pom- Poms and watching me proudly as I stood behind a table with a buzzer. You helped me through my dyslexia, ensuring to make me read everything before school started because you wanted to see me excel.
It is everything that I am, everything that I was, and everything that I will be that is credited to you. All of my powers and my skills and dreams are because you were there for me when no one else was.
You supported me through the rough times, talked me through my drama and my struggles and gave me advice even though I didn’t totally listen to you. You pushed me through things that I wasn’t strong enough to do, where I was too fearful to agree and too weak to understand.
You were there, holding me when I cried and supporting me with my decisions and knew that sometimes I didn’t think with my brain and you ensured that I did sometimes. I know that everything that has ever happened and that everything that will happen is in honor of you.
I remember a conversation that breaks my heart every single time I think about it, not the one that shattered my heart completely but one from a few years ago. We were at a family member’s house and you were talking to somebody about how we were close and you explained that it was because you were the only one that had never left me. Which is still true to this day. It was so small and insignificant to you and it should have been to me but randomly, especially when I lose a friend, it crosses my mind and I thank the world that you are still there for me.
I know that next year, I will be starting my life at a University and that you won’t be there for me as much and that you won’t be there to help me make my decisions but I know that you’ll be a phone call away, that I can call you and talk to you about my life and keep you updated on the cute boys that I met and the friends that I might have made.
It is because of the promise of a phone call away that I know I will be okay because you are the only person in the last 17 years that I can 100% trust in my life. Mom, I know that we fight and that sometimes we say things we really don’t mean but I also know that I love you so much because you’re my mother and you are the only person I want when I don’t feel well.
I love you and I always will,