As many of you know if you follow this blog, my mom is currently going through a divorce and recently she mentioned something to me, “I had Randy for my kids, I had Buddy for raising you, and my next guy will be for me,” which honestly got me thinking about true love.
Does true love exist? Because I know there are some people who married their high school romances and I have to wonder, how is this possible because when I look back at my romances, it fascinates me because I know that I have genuinely been in love with SOME of them but no part of me thinks now that we could ever have had a future.
Which I think is why what my mom said got me thinking so much about it, maybe it’s not that we have “one true love,” and that we only really fall in love with one person and have all of that nauseatingly gushy relationship stuff once but maybe we have the people we need during different parts of our life.
She met my biological father so she could have my older brother and myself, so that she could fulfill her wishes of being a mom early in life.
However, after an awkward divorce, it lead to no father for myself as my brother lived with him as he grew up. So, she met a boy while she was working which became her second husband and while I share no love or respect for the man, he did raise me which was what she needed at the time.
Now, I am a senior in high school (and about to graduate with both my Associates of Arts and High School Diploma) and raising me really isn’t a thing anymore. She had her kids, she had the “father figure,” so now it is time for her.
She all cared about them at some point, they were all vital to her life and they were all loves in her life. She disagrees with me on this one but I do think that we don’t have true loves, we have loves that we need during different times in our lives.
As for those lucky ducks who married one person and only had one love of their life, I want to talk to them. How did they do it? How did they get through their struggles? Do they really love each other the way that they used to?
I think my best answer comes with choice, there are some people who manage to meet this one person who they stay with forever. They adapt as you adapt and they become everything you need as time passes. Because, I think a lot of relationships fail because somebody adapts and grows while the other stays the same and they stop being what each other needed.
I’m not saying that being with one person for the rest of your life is impossible, I just think that it a minority and that those people are genuinely lucky. I could only hope to only marry one person and that I’m lucky enough to find somebody who grows with me.