Over the weekend, I made the remark about the fact that in every story that I have ever written, the relationship is always a bit rocky. They aren’t a perfect couple and they are often sarcastic and witty with each other. When I was telling this to my friend, he asked me if that was the kind of relationship I wanted.
This, of course, leads me to ask myself the same question. What kind of relationship did I want? I had dated someone over the summer for the briefest time and a part of me sincerely regrets ever dating him because I know that my heart wasn’t 100% into the relationship, I was distancing myself and consistently busy that I found myself not wanting to find time so I could text him.
Before that, I hadn’t been in a relationship for about 8 months at that point. The relationship that began the “Breaking it Off Series” at the beginning of my blog. I had been completely heartbroken and despite the title, I wasn’t the one who broke it off. I thought that I had been in love and while I know now that it wasn’t the case, I was heartbroken when the relationship finally ended and a part of me believes that I’m still not entirely over the relationship.
Amusingly, I did learn that he is now in Tinder which tells me his dating life sucks… YAY!
It should be noted that despite my heart being broken and my happiness in the fact that he is still single, it is simply because I absolutely hate his guts. The way that relationship ended was painful and while I do wish happiness for him, I don’t genuinely want him to be happy.
But this isn’t about my failed relationships because honestly, I simply don’t want to rehash the issues in my past relationships. I don’t want to acknowledge the pain that had come from any of them but in these relationships, I have learned some things that I do want from a relationship and something that I don’t.
First, I would love a relationship that can be intelligent. Where we can witty conversations and have discussions about actual topics that we are both knowledgeable in and especially a relationship where we are equally comfortable in discussing them. In one of my relationships, I never found myself completely comfortable having a political debate while in another, he simply wasn’t knowledgeable about the topic that he claimed to know about.
Next, I want a relationship that doesn’t get boring. I have had plenty of conversations where we felt the need to communicate consistently and eventually, it either got insanely boring or I became annoyed with the growing requirement and expectancy to immediately reply. I want a relationship where we don’t just text each other to text but to have genuine conversations about why we think we exist, why there is only planet with a known life form, why people claim there are no mermaids when the ocean hasn’t been 100% thoroughly discovered, or why I could never stop writing because I would die. I want to be able to talk to them about everything, maybe not continuously carrying a conversation but being able to talk when needed and still have the desire for them to suddenly text me.
While unfortunately, I have experienced this, I want a relationship that does not consist of just kissing. I love kissing the right guy, the experience of the first kiss and what it’s like to feel on the first date and the excitement of the first make out session but unfortunately, I’ve only kissed one person and that relationship slowly began losing the importance of communication and become lustful and while maybe love was originally a factor, it had been completely erased.
This has turned me off for so many people, they might have been so amazing and a funny and easy person to talk to with the intelligence to be ambitious but then I would learn that they had no future plans and no dreams to go after. I want a relationship where we are both ambitious and I do not feel like I am the only one excited about my future, dreaming of the day that I become a well- known author or that moment when I realize that my work means something to people. I don’t want to be alone when I experience this and while I don’t expect them to be writers, in fact, I don’t want to date a writer.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t want them to have a dream, to love something so passionately that they could never walk away from it, that they could never stop trying to make their dream to come true despite the money it offers.
Additionally, I want someone who cares about the world we live in. Caring people are so important and it’s important to me that they care about where we live. That they know the dangers that the oceans face, that they know there are problems with domestic violence and the danger of losing our beautiful rainforests. I don’t particularly care if they do anything about it like I plan to, I just want them to know about the problems. I want them not to pretend like the world is absolutely fine.
While there many, many more things that any girl dreams of in a relationship such as trust, loyalty, kindness, safety, and so much more. I will only be touching on two more topics because I know that they are specific for me and they are not things that I typically find when this is covered.
If you happen to agree or disagree with me, I would love to hear it! Or maybe you have your own personal thoughts on this topic that you would love to add or contribute, I would love to hear them.
But anyways, as many of you may know, I live in an incredibly small city. One of those that if you blink too many times or go off the main road, you’ve already left and with that, it surprises me how many people don’t ever want to leave. So, I want someone who wants to escape and travel the world. Someone who wants to get out of the safety bubble of a small city and see the world.
Finally, but certainly not least, I want someone who knows me. Not just what my favorite Starburst flavor is but what I think about the possible Apocalypse, my reasoning for why I will never be religious, and my thoughts on stars. I want them to just know what I want to watch without having to ask, what I want when I’m feeling sick, and just know about my opinions and thoughts and care about them.
I want an emotionally charged, intelligent relationship.
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