So, there is no secret that I’ve been single for quite some time. In fact, I was going through a break up when I first began this blog and I even chronicled some of my dating experiences, explaining that I just wasn’t ready to date for quite some time which was true.
For quite awhile, I didn’t date anybody and never even thought about it until on one joke day, I downloaded the Tinder app with my best friend and I didn’t realize at the time that this would lead to a spitball of one off conversations and some of the most amusing situations I have ever been in.
Downloading Tinder would eventually lead me to downloading OkCupid and finally Hot or Not, which has been my most recent dating site experience and I will be sharing some of the conversations that I had with you and some of the funnier situations I’ve been in.
I will say that courtesy of watching horror online dating videos on YouTube (I highly recommend CorpseHusband and Mr. Nightmare for that kind of stuff!) I never actually ended up going on dates with any of them, partially because I never actually grew interested in anybody enough to meet them and partially because I wanted to know that nobody was a serial killer first and almost none of them lasted long enough.
Tinder seems to be the one that everyone is first introduced to. I think it’s the more well- known of the dating sites and while they are notorious for their hook-up culture, a lot of them are genuine guys or maybe it was more of who I was matching with that this turned out to be the case.
Most of my “fuck boy” style conversations actually didn’t originate from Tinder and I will admit that I probably had the most success when it came to meeting guys that had genuine potential and Tinder also originates some of my favorite “joking” conversations that I have ever had, regardless of how short they are.
Most of my conversations with boys that actually ended up going somewhere moved to Snapchat fairly quickly, like within five seconds of matching with them, they were asking for my snapchat and that was the end of it.
I noticed a couple key factors when it came to Tinder matching, play the game as often as possible and while you will find those random people who match with everyone for the hell of it, there are genuine people and the more you play the swiping game, the more likely that it will happen.
The most common problem that I ran into when it came to Tinder was the fact that conversations often didn’t go past that original day of matching. They would magically die as the clock hit midnight and even if you messaged them, there would never be a reply. My theory in regards to this phenomenon is that they downloaded it with their friends that night and used it but then un-downloaded it or perhaps they genuinely were fuck boys and I just didn’t reciprocate.
Another weird problem that I ran into, which was honestly the most discouraging when it came to Tinder in general was the amount of times that I would end up getting friend zoned. Unfortunately I don’t have the screenshots for this particular incident, but one night I matched with this dude that I was actually interested in when suddenly he invited me to Discord and explained that I seemed like I would be a great friend and working partner for the video game he was working on.
This video game was basically shit, they had started working on it in like sophomore year of high school which would be fine if the game had evolved from their 16 year old minds but the thing was, it hadn’t. Admittedly, they seemed to have a lot figured out… If you were playing a video game exclusively for the literal game play rather than the story. After a couple days of helping them with some of the writing when it came to the game, I never got back on Discord and that was the end of that conversation.
After that little incident, I hadn’t been on the app much longer before I deleted it (though admittedly I do randomly get back on the app through my computer when I’m bored so I can make fun of their profiles…)
My favorite two conversations I’ve ever had were actually incredibly short so I thought I would share screenshots of these two particular conversations. The first was with a golden retriever named Robert that was genuinely adorable.
The second was with Freddy, like Freddy Krueger but unfortunately I never got a reply but I thought my message was funny.
I must admit that out of all the dating apps that I had, this one probably lasted on my phone the shortest amount of time out of all of them all because of one dude.
This conversation was okay, he messaged me first which happened a lot on OkCupid because you could message the person regardless of whether or not you matched with them or not, which was honestly my least favorite part of the app.
His message was pretty simple, a hello, which was fine as I didn’t mind not getting the dramatic messages because while they were cute, they lasted the least amount of time in regards to lengths of conversations. Like all of their energy went into that first message that just never managed to go past it.
The problem was, I was driving when he sent it. By the time I went to Sheetz to grab some food, he had messaged me another four times to ask me if he had done something to make me angry and apologized during the other three messages. I hadn’t even managed to say hello at this point but I assured him that everything was fine and that I was just driving.
With that, I got back in my car and started driving once more. This time, he sent me six messages complaining about the fact that I wasn’t texting him fast enough and getting a little angry. I really should have stopped the conversation right then and there but I felt bad about not wanting to reply so I continued.
He quickly declared that we were dating (I had never met him, I never agreed to this) and when I suggested a place we could meet up, he quickly shut it down as it wasn’t romantic enough.
This is what I suggested: “Maybe we could go to (local coffee shop) and play board games while we drink coffee. I love that place and their coffee or we could go to Barnes and Noble and go to Starbucks since I have a Barnes and Noble membership card and it would be cheaper.”
This is what he countered with: Let’s go to a regular Starbucks. It’s much more romantic!”
Of course, I relented as I really liked Starbucks even though I was pretty annoyed and he was probably the closest I ever got to meeting in real life and we would have had it not been for something he said to me about three days before what was supposed to be our date and two days after we met…. “I love you.”
DO NOT SAY “I LOVE YOU” BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET THE GIRL.
I quickly deleted my account on that app and I have pretended that it didn’t exist ever again after then.
Of course, there were some aspects of the app that I absolutely adored. During the course of this conversation, I will not deny that I still continued to play around with the app itself though admittedly, I didn’t have another conversation on the site.
One of the pieces that I enjoyed was the fact that you could answer questions about your personal beliefs, religions, thoughts, opinions, and even politics which would generate a percentage in your matches from “match” and “enemy.” I had actually found out about this app through the Try Guys when Zak decided to go on a date with his worst enemy.
My highest match that I ran into was a 98% which was with a dude that I actually went to school with albeit he was a couple of years older than me and I am even friends with his little brother. It was pretty disappointing though it made sense that we had a high match even though we were never going to go on a date.
I never actually looked for the lowest, though I currently wish I had as I think that would have been a pretty good story but I will say that the boy I spoke to had a 28% match with and like an 88% enemy match. For all I know, he might have been my worst match.
Which leads to my least favorite part and the biggest reason as to why I ultimately never decided to go back to it, they can still message you regardless of whether or not you have liked them and regardless of whether or not you matched. Maybe it would be understandable if the match had to be higher than a 50 but it just had no regulation meaning I had an influx of messages that I had no interest or desire to ever reply to.
Hot or Not
Admittedly, I am still using Hot or Not so I don’t have a lot of hatred or bad stories when it comes to this one. I will say that it took me a long time to download the app because I didn’t like the vibe that it gave off.
To me, it looked like you had to look or act a certain way in order to do well on the app. You had a popularity bar that told you how popular you were at the time, and you even have a rating system (though I have no idea how the rating system works as I never rated a single guy)
Similar to Tinder, it had the swiping game and added interests that were pretty interesting. Though, I will admit that I found myself wanting to see a tab where I could meet people with a lot of the same interests as you. Anyone that had any similar interests with me immediately caught my attention.
At first, I was a little apprehensive about the fact that you message the person without matching until I realized that they gave you the opportunity to skip the message, taking away the requirement to actually talk to somebody that you’re simply not interested in.
An interesting aspect is that you could tell them that you’re only looking for a friend or you’re looking for somebody to date, which is pretty cool considering I consistently had the issue of running into people that simply were not looking for somebody to date. They were lonely and wanted a friend and I think it’s pretty cool that they gave that opportunity to those individuals.
Something personal that I found with me is that I, in many ways, took this app a lot less seriously which allowed me to loosen up a lot and just kind of have fun with the conversations that I was having, even messing with some of the boys that I spoke to.
Ultimately, they all have cool and unique facts that none of the rest have and I honestly prefer Hot or Not when it comes to the messaging. It allows you to see the messages but give you the opportunity to not reply to them which often leads to pretty interesting events.
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