Best Book So Far? #NationalBookMonth

 

It’s National Book Month so it’s only fitting to share what the best book I’ve read in 2018 is!

 

I’m actually reading it right now and I plan to post a book review about in November since I will be doing this in October so stay tuned for it!

 

But if we’re going to ignore that book in order to make this a significantly longer post, then it would probably be a book that Dylan let me borrow a couple of months back. It had all of these fairy tales and told multiple versions of each story which has always been something that has fascinated me.

 

How stories are told and how different they can be based off the culture of the world and what that country may emphasize or even the time in which the story is told. In my critical reading class, we have been reading books about food such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Chocolat, and The Goblin Market.

 

Those stories alone, while not the same have a lot of similarities and differences. They tell you how the world views food and views women in connection. In The Goblin Market, women are considered weak and vulnerable and unable to control their desires when tempted with the most basic temptations.

 

Meanwhile, in Chocolat, the same thing is happening. There is a fight of whether or not women are evil and should be trusted around food. They’re considered to be the temptations and are evil if they tempt you with such desires. However, the women (or woman) is not villainous but rather the priest is. He’s villainous for believing such things and assuming the worst. It’s a matter of a couple decades but the differences are clear.

 

Okay, so clearly I’ve been thinking about my Critical Reading class. But I think you get the point.

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Why Do I Write Romantic Tragedies?

 

It’s a question that I’m asked quite often, especially after people watch some famous romantic tragedy like The Notebook or something like that. They will ask me the dumb questions, “Do you get high from killing off your characters?” or my personal favorite “If you love romantic tragedies, does that mean that all of your relationships are doomed?”

 

It’s an assumption that is made by a lot of people, if I enjoy writing romantic tragedies then I must be a masochist. Basically, I’m playing the Taylor Swift card, where people ASSUME that I get into relationships so that I have a tragedy to write about.

 

So, I’m going to paint you a picture, okay?

 

Let’s say you grew up in a family where there was no love. Maybe your parents were divorced or maybe it had become painfully obvious that they were only married because of you.

 

Alternatively, you are now of high school age, you are in love and then suddenly and completely out of the view, the guy/ girl breaks your heart.

 

These people have either grown up, knowing the realities of love. They have looked at romance novels and have scoffed. Most of these aren’t the people who dreamed of falling in love and proving that everything would be okay if only they were in the arms of some muscular man.

 

When I first started working on The White Butterfly, my first published novel that I actually enjoyed writing, I had just gone through a break up and during this time, I was heartbroken.

 

I watched movies that were supposedly the movie that you should always watch after a break up and the most annoying theme was the fact that they ended up together. I didn’t want that, during my heartbreak, I wanted to know that I was not alone and I wanted to see an actress feel broken after a break up.

 

So that’s exactly what I wrote, a romantic tragedy about a girl getting over a break up.

 

It’s not that I was some cruel human being that wanted somebody to hurt for fun, I just wanted a story that would heal my heart.

 

I don’t consider romantic tragedies to be a genre that is purposely supposed to hurt you but a story that can heal you if you’re the right person. Whether you were hurt or you need a story that just doesn’t end well or maybe even a good cry.

 

If you like this, you might like:

Why Do I Write?

What I Want From My Readers

 

If you like romantic tragedies, check out my novels:

The White Butterfly

The Girl in the Cage

 

Social Media!

Instagram: Sheswritingmore.

Twitter: Sheswritingmore.

Snapchat: Sheswritingmore.

My Worst “French” Kiss Story

 

My worst kiss was not at the fault of the guy in question, we had actually had plenty of amazing kisses before this incident and after it. However, this does stem from a very weird conversation regarding the use of “tongues” in kissing and how in every movie there is, there is always a french kiss at some point in the movie.

 

To preface this, we were each other’s first kiss and neither of us had ever french kissed each other.

 

“What do you think french kissing is like?” I had asked, having been the one to bring up the conversation, we had been on a date and were in his bedroom, as we often were at this point in our relationship.

 

It had taken us a bit before we actually kissed, an entire month to be exact, but it wasn’t like our next kiss was another month away after that. We had grown pretty accustomed to it, which I think honestly might have been the ultimate end to our relationship but that’s not this story.

 

Instead, he had said, “I have no idea but we could try it if you want.”

 

With that statement, we pulled in close together as I grabbed his face. Immediately, we began trying to french kiss to absolutely no avail. The truth was that our kiss mostly consisted of trying to shove our tongues into each other’s mouths with absolutely no knowledge of what we were doing.

 

The kiss lasted only a few seconds before we pulled away, laughing as we agreed to never try it again so I will admit that my experience with french kissing mostly ends at that but it’s a funny story that I remember randomly.

 

So, tell me, what is your worst kiss?

Was it anything like two dogs licking each other’s mouths like mine was?

Embarrassing First “Relationship” Story!

 

My first “relationship” was when I was 8 years old. I put relationship in quotation marks because this was, in all honesty, one of those stupid elementary relationships where you think that you’re in love about 5 seconds after you start dating and you think the relationship is perfect. Though, there are two very important factors to this situation.

 

All of our conversations were made entirely from hand written notes, all of it. At the time, technology wasn’t as popular among kids as it is now and none of us had any so we just communicated through hand written notes. I remember every single piece of paper from Elementary school had a huge tear just so I could write notes and to this day, I don’t know to this day how we never got in trouble for it because I know for a fact that all of the teachers knew about this.

 

Note Passing.png

 

We were young though and for my first boyfriend, he was a complete and utter sweetheart and I know that I have heard a lot of worse relationships but of course, we were insanely young but because of such a young age, we obviously had some awkward situations.

 

One of my most vivid memories was after an attempt of my own to give him a gift which is entirely my fault. I don’t remember why I was so hell-bent on doing so, I think it primarily had to do with the fact that I had just been given play-doh and that I wanted to make him something but I don’t know if there was another reason on top of that or not.

 

But the day before, I got out my play- doh and spent hours, and I mean hours, trying to make the perfect play-doh heart. I was struggling on shaping it out to make it look like an actual heart but I eventually got it to my satisfaction so the following day, I came to school so excited to give it to him and I put it in his cubby (yes, we were THAT young!) so that I could surprise him.

 

playdough heart.jpg
This is a BETTER version of what I actually did.

 

The thing that I was not aware of was that play-doh dried up and started to break up so by the time that the end of the day happened, it was a complete mess that there was no way to know what it was even supposed to be and was just a mess in general. It was one of the most embarrassing moments that I had ever had because everyone knew immediately who it was.

Ferrets: Truth, Myths, and Stories Alike!

 

So, I haven’t really had the chance to mention Apple, my ferret, in a little while which is actually quite surprising for myself as he has quite quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world.

 

Though, I had never had what people would consider an unusual pet before which has created a lot of surprising reactions. There is a belief that they are incredibly smelly, that they are vicious and violent creatures, and even some assumptions that they wont play with you and don’t make attachments.

 

So, since I have had a ferret and have my first hand experience to account for this fact, I would like to share some stories and dispel and prove some of the assumptions that people have made about these amazing creatures.

 

The first thing that I would like to discuss is their smell, which seems to be the main thing that people are against and since I will not only be talking about my personal experiences, I will also link a few other things for each section so that you have a few other people who agree with me.

 

Ferrets do have an odor though I can definitely assure you that it is not an incredibly strong one that you can smell the second that you’re in the same room as them, no, this scent is actually something you can only really smell if you’re holding them or if you’re around something that they enjoy such as blankets.

 

One thing to seriously realize is that dogs, cats, humans, and ferrets alike have their unique scents!

 

The myth that they are incredibly smelly mostly comes with how well you take care of their cage or environment as their scent can worsen if they are in the wrong environments and while I will admit that my ferret is descented, most ferrets are so I’m not really worried about it.

 

Though, there is a scent which is why I will be sharing a few posts that gives tips or hints as to what may be the problem (such as diet) and how to reduce it!

 

Ferret Smell

Ferret Odors

How to Reduce Ferret Odor

 

Now onto the complete myth that ferrets are violent creatures, ferrets have natural reactions to things such as pain and even can get a little rough when playing. A thing to understand is that ferrets naturally play rough with each other and if you got your ferret from a place with other ferrets, their natural instinct is to play like that and it is your job to teach them not to do things such as biting your fingers and toes.

 

Though there actually are stories of ferrets being harmful to babies, as ferrets instinctively hunters and are complete carnivores. Because of this, it is highly inadvisable to allow your ferret alone with any sort of bird, rodent, or infant. While it is uncommon, stories such as Carrie Waldo and her son do happen but it is important to note that they ultimately found the parents at fault.

 

If you have a child, don’t leave them alone with the ferret and this incident is completely avoidable and another thing to note if something as violent as this does happen, were you feeding them enough? Their digestive tracts do not last incredibly long (at most 6 hours) and get hungry fairly quickly so once a day probably isn’t going to work very well.

 

Did this ferret have an incredibly bad experience? Do you know what kind of life the ferret had lived before you got them, had he experienced anything terrible since then? Ferrets don’t have short memories and will remember things for a long time. If you hurt them purposely once, they will remember it for years to come. If you don’t trust me though, please do tons of more research into the matter and look at this post which addresses the same situation as earlier, Are Ferrets Dangerous Pets?

 

Apple personally does bite, the tiniest bite in the world that is literally tasting you to see what you are and then leaves you alone unless he gets too excited or you scare him but it is never in a “I want to bite off your finger” way but “I WANNA PLAY!” or “HEY!” way.

 

The finally thing that I would like to talk about is the assumption that ferrets do not bond with their owners and won’t want to play with you. While ferrets do sleep about 11-18 hours a day, if they are awake, they are playing and are very different from cats in that aspect.

 

If you’re personally noticing a lack of interest in playing, account for how long you’ve actually had your ferret. Some ferrets may take longer to want to play with you than others (though this majorly depends on the ferrets themselves!) Another aspect is, how much are you letting him explore? They are natural explorers and want to explore more than all else.

 

Finally, how are you playing with him?

 

Ferrets do get bored and sometimes simply wont react to things that have lead to them being bored, Apple finds the most enjoyment from chasing you or you throwing the ball so he can bring it back to me. He also has a ball bit for when he wants to gets inside and play that way. It ensures that he doesn’t get bored and becomes more willing to play with you when you want the attention.

 

Don’t believe me? 

 

The final thing I want to address is bonding with their owners. This comes to an important variable. Your ferret’s unique personality and yours including how well it gets along.

 

Apple and I got along from the very moment we met, playful and enjoying each others company which has caused a lot of bonding between us to the point that he has separation anxiety.

 

While his actions were not immediate, he has slowly grown to be more and more dependent on me. Immediate actions that I noticed from him is that he wouldn’t do anything unless I told him to do so.

 

My mom would try to take him out of the cage and almost immediately, he would come out and then go back inside if he didn’t couldn’t find me. It was like he didn’t want to play unless I was around and not two minutes later, I would be in the room and he would come running towards me.

 

Not only that but if he got tired or scared, I would notice that he would come cuddle up with me. If he was out of his cage for more than 20 to 30 minutes when he was little, he would come to my spot on the couch and lay on my chest until he fell asleep.

 

Another incident when he was a little older was him trying to get on top of my dresser (which is incredibly short) and a calculator fell on top of him which lead to him jump attacking me so that I would hold him as he licked my hand until he calmed down.

 

The funniest story involving him was after a sleepover at a friend of mines house, he hadn’t seen me in not even 24 hours and my mom had this video of him searching for me and then immediately going into his cage.

 

After I got home, however, he would follow me around for days and an important thing to note is that he absolutely despises water. He has hated water since the moment I gave him a bath and he tried to drown himself (he didn’t realize that if he just lifted his head, he would be able to breathe) and absolutely despises it.

 

Well, one day, the first time I was gonna leave the house since then, I got in the shower and he was out of the cage because there are no small children and the house is ferret proofed fairly well so he has a lot of freedom and so I got in the shower and he followed me in. Like he jumped into the shower and you could tell from his reaction that he immediately regretted his decision the second the water hit him.

 

He looked so awkward and annoyed by the water as he tried to find a spot away that I actually took him out so he wouldn’t have to deal with it but he just jumped right back inside. So, he still hated the water and wanted away from it but he still wanted me to be near him so you could practically see his little gears turning while he tried to figure out what he was going to do.

 

I finally came up with idea of showing him the shower curtain because then he wouldn’t be hit by the water but he would still be in the bath and he got so excited and immediately got behind and laid down but after a few seconds, he seemed to get upset by something so he reached one of his front paws out and grabbed onto my pinkie toe. (When I hold him, he often holds one of my fingers so this didn’t surprise me very much!)

 

So despite his complete hatred for water, he still wanted to be near me and even wanted to still be able to touch me so he held out of his foot just so he could. Not only that but if my foot got out of his reach, he would try to bite me so I would stop moving.

 

He faced one of his least favorite things just so he could be with me.

 

Now, I know, this is just one story but honestly, it’s my best story and if you don’t believe me with it, I guess I can just prove it to you by showing you this article which proves that ferrets bond similar to dogs rather than acting like a wild animal would.

 

Ferrets and Their Owners

 

If you’re using me to decide whether you really want a ferret, I highly suggest doing a lot more research as to whether that may be a good idea as there are a lot of personal factors and they do require a lot of time and maintenance.

 

Do a lot of research on the topic and watch plenty of Youtube videos.

 

Here is my Youtube Playlist for Ferrets that I watched when researching Ferrets!

Ferrets My Ferret Powerpoint that I made!

Are you struggling with your Ferret Biting? Check out the method that worked for me!

 

Don’t forget to follow me @ShesWritingMore

I Am a Proud Mother of Apple – My Ferret

 

And please don’t forget to check out my book, “The White Butterfly” by Sabrina Ingram on Amazon which you can now buy in both Paperback and Kindle versions and various countries!

 

I Am a Woman

I am a woman and the objectification that comes with that and the opinions or thoughts of this concept means that I am demoralized, whorish, too fat/skinny, and there are more societal expectations simply because I have the misfortune of getting my period and growing boobs in the second grade.

I am a woman who when I posted a picture of myself in my bikini top that showed my boobs, I had my best friend (at the time) walk up to me and say… “Why?” I didn’t know what she meant at first, I didn’t realize she had judged me because I showed my boobs in a picture. Because apparently, as a woman, I am expected to have boobs but never, ever admit or show them. Apparently men don’t realize girls have boobs until they’re displayed but still feel the need to make fun of flat chested girls.

I am a woman who, when in Elementary school, had incredibly large boobs compared to the rest of the people in my grade which lead to rumors that I stuffed my bra and apparently, the concept of an Elementary student getting a boob job makes perfect sense because I was asked on a regular basis if my boobs felt real. Well, duh.

Not only that but I was once approached about my boobs by a boy and he looks at me (because apparently my face is located on my boobs) and said, “I know why you have big boobs, it is because you’re fat.” But let’s be honest, that is a totally different topic in itself (that I will cover!)

As a child who is a woman, I dealt with this backlash a lot but apparently it is surprising that I hate my boobs and my mother tells me, “Oh, you’ll change your mind. They are just jealous because men will love you.” My friends tell me, “Oh, you’re overreacting.”

Let me ask you this, how would you feel if you were harassed for years about the fact that you had boobs, would you love them? Would you want to show them off to the world and be super proud of them? Hell no, because let’s be real the only people proud of their boobs are the girls who grew boobs late in life when it was already normal.

But now as I am older, 17 in fact, I have realized that my boobs do get me into interesting situations. I can say happily that I have gotten free drinks by admittedly ugly cashiers at Starbucks and on multiple occasions received free food from the guy behind me because he didn’t want me to pay. Oh, the perks. Not only this but when I bought multiple packs of sodas, a man came up to me and asked me if he could help put them in my car because I was a girl and when I said “No, thank you,” he watched me and every time I came back, he asked again. Not because he was being polite but because I am a girl who is expected to be weak.

What made me angry about these situations was when I got into a relationship and he watched this happen to me on a regular basis and I realized this never happened to guys. We were at a sushi restaurant and the guy gave me free Green Tea Ice Cream because he thought I would like it and totally ignored my date (who I would share this ice cream with!) It is so cool to receive free food but let’s be real, it’s really degrading. (Not saying I want this to stop but I mean, come on, get a life boys!)

I am a woman and immediately there are things expected of me, especially in my looks. Apparently I must have big boobs and no thigh gap and let’s not forget that I am a “lesser person” if I don’t have boobs or if I am not less than 100 pounds (Sweetie, that ain’t ever going to happen!) 

I mentioned earlier that I was told the only reason why I had boobs was because I was fat? Because apparently if I do have the ideal boobs, that is a bad thing because I am too fat for a guy to enjoy it.

In middle school, the teacher started talking about obesity and how girls should weigh a certain amount and she points to me and says, “You’re obese. You will never find a guy like that.” Before you freak out, she is now in jail for having sexual relations with a student. (Monica Lewinsky, anyone?)

But my problem isn’t that she pointed to me and said I was obese, my problem is the assumption that the only reason why I am alive is because I need a guy in my life. We live in the 21st century and yet, I am still seen as vulnerable and weaker by the world. We will IGNORE the fact that the only reason why male birth control studies ended was because of side effects that women birth control already have proving we have a higher pain threshold (not to mention the watermelon that can come out of our bodies!) Yes, I am a weaker person. So sorry!

Do NOT expect me to get married, do not imply that the only reason why I am alive is so I can pop out children and populate a world where we are sexualized and have to fear for our lives because of our clothes. Now, let me get one thing straight, when I want kids or if I have kids, is my business and does not make me less of a woman one way or the other.

My mother recently separated from her husband (whom I despised with every fiber of my being) and do you want to know what one of her customers said? “Why would you do that? Are you moving in with some other guy? Girls can’t live alone.”

Do I need to make a sign that we live in the 21st century, like is that the problem here? People forgot that we have already passed the stone age?

I am a woman who has a dress code because I distract other boys. People make a big deal about shoulders not being allowed to be seen but did you guys know why? APPARENTLY, if you look at the shoulder, you see a bra strap (The horror, we have boobs!) which makes you think of the bra and then makes you think of boobs. This distracts boys from their lessons and they are not reprimanded because “boys will be boys.”

How about I make this suggestion, teach your boys to control themselves instead of taking girls away from their education so we can help the male population? Besides, boys get distracted by everything. My shoulders are going to cause less of a problem than if they looked two inches below and simply looked at my boobs. Not to mention if a girl bends over, wears tight shirts, wears a skirt, wears leggings, wears jeans.

If boys are going to get distracted, there is no way avoid that so stop ruining girl’s educations simply because they can’t keep their dicks down (Excuse my crude language because apparently girl’s can not know those exist!)

Then you have the expectations of what we should wear, we are not allowed to wear short shorts however that is the only way to get a guy’s attention. You are expected to wear tight clothes so we can show off our assets or otherwise we are hiding ourselves yet if we do and something happens. We are blamed.

Apparently if I wear a shirt that is tight and shorts, it is my fault if I get raped. Because I was “asking for it.” I was talking to a Freshman (I am a Junior) and she pointed to an older student and said, “Her dress is so short, she is just asking for it.”

Women are told we must dress a certain way and if we don’t, we are hated and if we do, we deserve whatever comes to us. We will ignore the self control that these men clearly need to learn and we will ignore that I can wear whatever the hell I want to wear.

BECAUSE LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT, REGARDLESS OF MY CLOTHES, LOOKS, PERSONALITY, OR OTHERWISE NEVER EVER GIVES THE EXCUSE TO RAPE ME OR ANYONE ELSE.

I am woman who has grown up with this idea of what I should look like, I should weigh a certain amount, I should have the certain breast size, I should want children, I should live my life so I can get married, I should work in a place “suitable for a girl.”

There are so many expectations that women face yet it still surprises everyone when we are insecure and rebellious towards this behavior and when we fight for this equality that we have yet to completely obtain, we are reckless, ignorant, and thoughtless of the world around us.

We are told that we are girls and because we are girls, we have to keep our pretty little mouths shut and put on some make up and just do whatever the man wants.

There are so many expectations in the world of women yet if you turn on the television and you watch a single show or movie, you will notice a stereotype that is made fun of and joked around with. Women are thought to be make- up wearing, boy obsessed shoppers. Those women, the women that follow society’s expectations, are then mocked for these very things.

I am a woman and because of this, there is this dreaded one week of my life. A week that means that I have my menstrual cycle (also known as PMS!) This week is mocked, ignored, made fun of, and joke obsessed. The people making these jokes have nothing to do with the people that experience this.

If we are slightly (even slightly) rude or annoyed with a boy, you are faced with this sentence, “Oh, you’re on your period, aren’t you?” However, if I talk to a guy about this, I am immediately faced with this, “Gross! I don’t want to hear that! You’re disgusting!”

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you could make jokes about it but you couldn’t handle the actual situation that causes stomach aches and is in general incredibly annoying! By the way, if you want to know what a period is like by your own gender boys, here you go!

That will take you to a Buzzfeed Yellow video of the Try Guys experiencing Periods, girls, it is incredibly funny to watch this and is kind of amazing to watch!

Women are NOT equal and if you are a woman who believes this statement, I highly recommend you rethinking it. Women are demoralized, expected, and treated like we are less simply because we have the misfortune of having periods and growing boobs.

Ignoring the societies thoughts on women (for just a second), we are paid less per hour on a regular basis, we are told that we are emotionally unstable, and we are physically weaker. May I ask what that has to do with ANYTHING?

Regardless of how our brain works, we shouldn’t be treated different. Men are more likely to be serial killers because of their lack of empathy, what if I told you that you couldn’t have any guns because of this? How would you feel?

I am a woman who demands equal pay and equal respect between a man and a woman. I should be given the same job offers and the same rules given by those allowed to. Our world has been fighting for Women’s Rights for years! None of this has changed. I am a woman that deserves to be respected for my choices in life.

I am a woman who is smart, creative, and opinionated and yet I am told that I am a woman and therefore my opinion does not matter. I am a woman that is not okay with this and everyone who respects, relates, or understands this fight should fight also.

Live a Life You Want to Recount

So I was talking with one of my friends, he was telling me this story behind a birthday present that was giving me (a little late but whatever) and I realized that it was the stories, the little moments in life that you tell your children, the ones that make up your life.

You’re not going to tell your children about multi-tasking between writing and watching Netflix (which is what I primarily do), those stories are boring. You’re going to tell the story of getting out of your car in broad day light, stealing an entire street sign and coloring it simply because he thought their friend would enjoy the gift.

Those are those stories that you lovingly tell to your friends and family, those are the stories that mean something in the end. The stories that prove that you have actually lived and I don’t want to live a life that forces me to be in my bedroom all the time.

That is why I want to travel, I want to travel before I ever have kids and I want to be able to tell them about that random musician who sang a song about the Presidential Election of 2016, the embarrassing ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ experience with my Aunt and Uncle.

The story of meeting one of my best friends because she wanted to hug me, the stories of going up a tree house that apparently no one had gone in years and falling down the 20 foot tree (resulting in a mobile mittendorf dot in my right eye.)

I am going to tell them of my eighth grade field trip to the Outer Banks that resulted in a seven hour ferry ride and how that was my favorite memory throughout all of middle school. The only time where everyone was friends and everyone was having fun and talking together.

So I have decided, I want a life that is worth being in stories. I want a life that when someone talks happily about me, they can recall the many mini stories that make up my life. The time I got banned from wearing flip flops in school or the fact that in the seventh grade, my teacher had me sing a song to her anytime she got upset or stressed.

It is not the stories of sitting down on your bed or the stories of watching Netflix that stick in your head but the ones that cause you to laugh, the ones that actually genuinely mean something to people and the ones that while it might not seem like it, will stick in your head forever.

There are some things that I look back fondly on in my life and some stories that I will tell a million times more as time goes on and I am glad to say that while I do have my many stories of binge watching stories on Netflix, I have my amazing stories that have the chance to be recounted over and over.

I can say that I wasn’t always at my lap top, I can say that I have my horror stories, my embarrassing stories, my stories of love and friendship, and even my stories of laughter.

All of these things, the moments where I was horrified or laughing are the stories that make up my life and I couldn’t be more happier about my life. The bad, the good, the better.

There is a quote by Kurt Vonnegut, a famous American author who once said, “Enjoy the little things in life for one day, you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” This is something I genuinely believe in and I wanted to share my thoughts on this with all of you.

I hope you guys have an amazing day and please, create stories worthy of telling others.