I think that there is this time where you think everything is perfect, this moment can be when everything you’ve been planning and waiting for is finally falling into place, this moment could be at the beginning of a relationship, or perhaps you only experienced it as a small child.
Whatever the case may be, everything was perfect and the scary thing is not knowing when it will stop being perfect.
In the end, during the last moments of perfection there is a change. It could be the way the season changed or perhaps it wasn’t anything and it was everything at the exact same time.
Perhaps picking up that penny changed everything for you or perhaps it didn’t. Sometimes you can’t even pinpoint the change and you find yourself somewhere, someplace simply not knowing when but knowing it did.
Those moments are passed the time where you’re scared that the “perfect” feeling is going to leave because you’ve long bypassed it already not being perfect. It is during those moments and those moments only that you truly wonder, what do I do now that everything has changed?
Well you have options, so many options. You have the option to stay and fight like hell because that’s really all you can do. You have the option to hide, hide under your favorite blanket or inside a book or behind a computer and you hide. You hide until you know what is happening, you hide until you can make sense out of things. You hide and you hide and you continue hiding until you have an answer or the last option, the easiest option, is running and running as fast as humanly possible.
You wonder which one to take, you stare at the options until you realize that you already are hiding. When during those moments of realizing that everything is no longer perfect and you begin the wonder of what is to come, you realize something very important.
It is a battle, one of which that you don’t realize you’re fighting until you reach the moment of either fighting like hell and winning the game or running away.
It is during those moments that you realize how strong you are.
I wonder which one I would chose and then I realize, you are constantly choosing. You choose every moment you walk on this earth, every time you eat a piece of food or drink water, you are choosing something.
The battle that you are constantly fighting is never one that you realize you’re fighting until it’s time to really step it up. If you can choose to fight every day, when you are looking at the three paths of choices and which one to choose at the end of what you thought was perfection, you can continue fighting, you’ve been doing it all this time.
So if you feel like you can only fight one last fight, if you feel like you’re drowning like I so often do, remember that fighting is something you do every single day and you can fight. You can always fight and you can always win. You only lose when you choose not to fight. You only loose when you put your armor down and walk away.
Please never stop fighting.